arms, belly buttons, bones, chairs, feet, legs, people, skin, skirts, upholstery

An Upholstering Analogy

by Bernie Iven

When I was a kid, I would visit— often staying the night— at my grandparents’ farmhouse. They lived in the town of ( I kid you not) Frankenstein, Missouri .

In the upstairs bedroom where I slept was a ball and claw-legged chair. To a child, the sight can be almost traumatic. The claws were scary…. Potentially monstrous. Why would a chair need them?

As an adult I’ve generally gotten over these fears and have even come to admire the workmanship it must take to carve such things… even if by machine.

But have you ever thought about how furniture has many of the same body parts as people? It’s true. Most pieces of furniture have: Legs. Feet. Arms. & Backs.

If they are tufted, they have Belly Buttons.

If they are female, they have Skirts.

The wooden frames of furniture are like our bones. The foam is like our muscle. The batting is like our fat. The fabric is like our skin.

And if a piece of furniture has been very good, it gets wings.

One thing though, that furniture doesn’t have are heads. Good thing for that. That would be scary… unless its a “people chair” (see photo) with a smile like we upholstered for the Grandview, Ohio public library.

Happy Upholstering.

Fabric Farms Interiors sells a wide variety of upholstery products including furniture’s muscle, fat, and most importantly skin, in the form of lots of gorgeous fabric!

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